Petey the Mountain Goat

A normal Saturday morning training ride has turned into an eye opening experience for members of the Closer Racing Team. Petey, Jarrod and Chris (Ring-In 2) had planned a searching training ride through the picturesque Dandenong's for some much needed climbing kilometers. The thinking was that the usual script would be followed to the letter, Chris would do the majority of the work up the front while Jarrod would do his share and Pete would do none and still not be able to keep up. What actually transpired was very different... well at least the last bit was different, Pete still did virtually nothing from home to the base of the Dandenong's. At the start of the infamous "1 and 20", a gruelling 6.7km climb, a savage push by Petey felled both Chris and Jarrod and gave Petey the upper hand immediately. (Ed's note: This may not have happened) Racing up the climb laughing wildly, Petey didn't notice Chris had already got up off the ground, dusted himself off, hopped on his bike and ridden 100m ahead him. (Ed's note: This probably didn't happen either, actually it may have if the push had of happened in the first place.) Chris, fearing another physical assault from Pete (Ed's note: I would like to see Pete try and hurt Chris. That would be funny) decided to smash the spirits of Petey and Jarrod and disappeared off into the distance. This left Jarrod and Petey to battle it out for 2nd place. And what a battle it was... (Ed's note: It wasn't) After about 2km Petey picked up the pace and stretched Jarrod who was still smarting after doing SO MUCH WORK earlier compared to Pete. A smiling Petey admitted later, "Watching the Tour de France has taught me to save my efforts until I get the others so buggered they can barely pedal. Then I attack." The end result was that Petey opened up a 100m gap that would never be challenged. Chris, whilst waiting at the summit had enough time to read "War and Peace", lodge his tax return, finish 7 Suduko puzzles and get phone numbers off 3 random girls. "At least it wasn't a complete waste of time. I need the tax return refund, Ive always wanted to read that book, I got to learn how to do Suduko, and I haven't got a girlfriend yet." I hate that family.

Blog Updates:
There is a poll on the right of screen. You are encouraged to participate in order to make this site more useful and accessible to all. Unless you're a C grader or less, we don't care about them do we (name deleted).
Closer Racing Blog has attained some more photos of the team in action and will be posted soon.
Pete's Bike link, also on the right hand side has been updated. Check out the lovely Felt goodness.
Jarrod also has a new bike. Sort of. Its almost complete. "It's rather menacing to look at. It's got a real beastly feel. An aggressive mentality. So I call it, Bestiality. Bestiality Rules! Yeah! I love Bestiality. Oh, hang on a second that's not right............."

le Tour....

The Tour de France is taking its toll on the Closer Racing Team. Training rides have virtually stopped dead and racing has taken a back seat to late night tv, eating, avoiding the cold and XBox. Team member Jarrod is really struggling, "This whole job thingy sucks. If I stay up and watch the Tour til the early hours I really feel crap at work. Why cant we all just do nothing and make money?" When informed of Jarrod's view, Pete's response was, "Welcome to my world!" (Ed's note: I promise, that is the last time we use that line)

Scotty also has struggled, he was last seen rolling on the ground in the fetal position repeating, "There are no drug cheats in the Tour. There are no drug cheats in the Tour." Richy is displaying his dismay in another disturbing way, he has gone quiet, saying nothing when asked for a comment.

Luckily for the Team, unofficial team mascot Cadel Evans is 2nd overall in the General Classification (26th July 2007) and had these words for his buddies at the Closer Racing Team, "I try to model my riding on the combined abilities of the team. I never ride, like Richy. I try to stress my bike to the maximum like Scotty. I try not to cramp or crash like Jarrod but I find the best thing is to wear see-thru bike shorts like Petey. For some reason no one wants to be near me when I wear those things. Not sure why."

Race Update:

After ignoring pleas from his teammates, Petey decided to chase some tail instead of "Chasing the Sun". He went all the way to Castlemaine to race a 6 hr enduro. Petey performed admirably, finishing in the top 95% of the field or 3rd last of the finishing riders. Way to go Petey... baby steps.

Rob and Av performed much better coming 2nd in their class, showing Petey a clean set of heels and giving him something to dream about........ a podium finish.

There was an added bonus for Pete and his involvement in this race, we now have actual photographic proof of him racing. Before this, Pete's racing career was one of rumour and here say. Below is an action shot of the great man.

Eyes on the prize. Petey in action

20 Seconds with.......

Team Sponsor, Alfy

Hey Buddy. How are you going?

Good mate. How are you?

Umm, I'm good. Whats that noise? Are you driving while you're on the phone?

Yeah. I'm on my way to a wine tasting. I love wine now. You know its amazing how much you can spend on wine. If you're not careful you can rack up a big bill.

Yeah well most people....

Shut up bitch! Yes its purple and I quite like it. Its Unique........ Its not gay!

Alfy? What was that?

Sorry mate. Some primary school girl asked me if I was driving a Barbie BMW. Then her mum asked if I was gay.....

Well you do drive a purple BMW.

Anyway.....

Ok.... You've being pretty helpful in keeping the team stocked up with Jelly beans and various other casu.....

Did you say Cas? We should go to the casino.

Focus Alfy. It was a nice gesture to offer your support for the 24hr enduro in October.

(Alfy squeals with excitement) 24 thats one of my numbers. Its fate. We have to go. Come on man.

Dude, I'm not going to the casino now. Its 6:30PM on a Tuesday.

I'm ringing Scotty. He'll go....

Housekeeping:

Petey has a new bike. Its a roady. It means less head butting of the ground. Everyone is a winner.

Below is an impostor wearing the traditional Closer jersey in action.

Some schmuck riding...

Stats of the Day: 100% of Closer bloggers posts are derogatory comments about colleagues, sponsors and team members.

Less than 10% is factual content.