Wednesday, August 15, 2007

No longer a Rich man

Richy was sensationally dropped by the Closer Racing Team for not complying with team rules. It was discovered by team members and sponsors that Richy had entered an enduro in the sunshine state and actually won. "I don't think the CEO of The Closer Group is very happy." Jarrod whispered as the news broke. "It's in our contract to not win any races until the big fella has done it first. Scotty is pretty distressed. He's just ordered his 1st serve of potato gems. Its looking grim." Scotty was later heard discussing his training options on the phone with his "doctor". "Why would I do it? I've got so much to lose..... It does what? How much stronger?..... and I will beat Richy again? OK. Sounds good..... Do the injections hurt? No? Great, I will see you in 30 minutes"

Hey! Where did that tree come from?



The other teammates took the news in their stride. "Well, once I got over the fact that Richy was hanging out with other men without telling me I was quite chuffed for him. My Psychologist said that it was a positive step for me." Confided a nervous Petey.
"I'm happy for him." A visibly saddened Jarrod said. "Just another one of my friends who is better than me at something. Time for a new sport. Do you know if any of my mates are any good at synchronised swimming? Ah crap I cant swim either.... shit!"
"That's nothing!" Laughed Chris (Ring-In 2) "I run for 13 days straight for shits and giggles. 12 hours isn't even a training run"
On a weekend retreat Alfy offered his support in the form of groaning quietly, and gurgling on his own vomit. Eventually he was able to convey his thoughts, "Richy a bad man.......... (Alfy resumes gurgling)"

In what was seen as a positive for Richy and potential reinstatement, Scotty announced that if he is able to win the up coming Chase the Sun Enduro he would consider Richy's plea to rejoin the team. Richy offered a firm dead silence when asked for a comment on his situation.


For people (Av & Petey... but mostly Petey) interested in the result click the link below:
http://www.twowheelpromotions.com.au/files/results07/Results_Race_face_12hr_2007.pdf


Race Update:
This weekend is the last of the "Chase the Sun" series at Lysterfield Park. It should be a ball breaking event as the track is hilly and extremely muddy. As of Wednesday night Scotty and Jarrod were the only confirmed starters in the 7 hour race. Richy lives too far away, Alfy is useless at all physical activities that don't require hand cream and a sock (Ed's Note: He's probably unco at that too), Chris has smashed his leg skiing and Av and Rob aren't stupid enough to enter. Which leaves us with Petey. He has to enter. Pressure him people! Anyhoo, if you want to see a grown man crying (Jarrod), a broken man (Petey) and a man who obviously rides way too much (Scott) then come along this Sunday and laugh 'til' it hurts.


Training Update:
Lysterfield is a disgrace. Mud everywhere. It's just too hard to ride.
Road riding is only good when you have a big bloke to sit behind to do all the work for you.
Here endeth the lesson.


Closer Blog Demographic:
The 1st poll has shown some interesting trends and opinions amongst the unwashed, otherwise known as Closer Racing Blog readers.
-A whopping 85% of readers believe the "Schmucks" on the team deserve the offensive writeups often seen on this site.
-14% said that we should tidy up our act and be nice. Well, we know who you are buddy! (Ed's Note: No we don't)
-1% Found the poll too confusing.
-The poll also showed that neither Alfy or Petey voted. Voting is compulsory in this country Alfy! You would know that if you weren't a goat (expletive deleted), (expletive deleted), (expletive deleted), (expletive deleted), (expletive deleted) (Ethnic denomination deleted). Petey, once again you have no excuse. Poor.


20 Seconds with....
Scotty:

Hey buddy. Thanks for taking the call.
Hey mate. No problem's.
Whats that noise?
What? Oh I'm on the exercise bike.
Hey? It's Saturday night and you're on a ski weekend. Why are you doing that?
Well I've decided to ride 8 hours a day so I need to squeeze a little pedal in here and there.
Right......
Hang on. Petey wants to say something.
(Petey) WASSSSSSUPPPPP!!!!!! I'm soooooooo drunk!
Thanks Petey. Scotty, you back on?
Yeah. Sorry about that. Richy came into the lodge and poured 6 shots each and he made us do them.
Oh don't let that...
Its not my Bucks guys!
Whats wrong Scotty?
Ah nothing, I just had a shower with Grizzly and now people are trying stick food into my stomach and do shots from my belly....
Scotty? Scotty?
The interview was continued the next day.
Hey Scotty lets pick up where we left off last night.
I don't feel too good.... hey? What are you talking about? We didn't do anything last night.
Ahh yes we did. You were doing shots whilst riding your bike and getting food stuck into you.
Oh man I don't remember any of that. I know i was really wet and freezing cold and I seem to be wearing a nappy. Look man I've got to go back to bed. Whats Alfy doing sleeping there? That can't be comfortable............