Hot Air

Well, another weekend, another ride at Lysterfield. (Ed's Note: Must expand the horizons) The conditions were to put it bluntly, sloppy. Lots of sloppy riders, sloppy mud and sloppy riding. Say that word a few times and then you suddenly realise how offensive it is.
The Closer Racing Team consisted of only one rider, Jarrod, who hooked up the lights and MP3 player and braved the elements. Now, it must be said that the weather over the past week has tested the will power of any rider and the resilience of the trees..... the weather won on both counts. Scott and Pete, showing supreme commitment were no shows and there were fallen trees everywhere. One tree in particular caused Jarrod great delight when he failed to spot it on a downhill run until he was on top of it. He flew over the pile of debris and managed to hold on to the handlebars, just. He stopped, gathered his thoughts, maneuvered his manhood from his throat and back into its intended position (so graphic, sorry ladies) and looked back at the shoddily constructed log rollover. Stupid trees.........

Later in the ride a female was spotted on the track. Not wanting to ever to beaten by a girl, Jarrod rode like a man possessed to catch the lonesome Gumby. Unfortunately for Jarrod there was no prize for catching this particular Gumby. It turns out that she was a former acquaintance of the Closer Racing Team. To protect the innocent, her identity will not be revealed. (Ed's Note: Dim Sims anyone?) The unnamed girl realising the futility of her riding conceded position, then recognising the famous style of Jarrod, screamed out, "Hey Jarrod!"
In an extraordinary act of kindness Jarrod choose to ignore her, saving her from colourful profanity laced abuse. Nice work Jarrod, chivalry isn't dead.

Lastly, what's with guys on long travel bikes wearing full body armour riding around Lysterfield? Actually, scratch that. The Closer boys could probably do with the extra protection, just ask Scott's face, Pete's chin, Richy's shoulder or Jarrod's.... well pretty much everywhere.

20 Seconds with...
Richy.
Hey Buddy how have you been?
(silence..........) Good.
Whats your favourite memory from your time so far in the Closer Racing Team?
(silence...... I'm serious.. nothing... crickets) Meh...
Right.... good answer. Lets move on. How about your bike, how have you found the performance?
GO BOMBERS!
What the hell? Are you watching the footy?
(silence.......)
Richy? You there? Rich?
Hmmm? What was that?
It doesn't matter. Thanks for your time mate.
(silence......) Lloydy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WANTED:
-Any pictures of Petey racing. Heck any pictures of Pete in the same area as a bike. It doesnt even have to be real. Photshop is allowed. Ive had many emails from curious females inquiring about Petey's status. He is quite a catch....... (Ed's Note: Dont worry Pete, we have screened the picky ones.)
-Weight's partner for Jarrod. Tall, weak, uninspiring people need not apply.
-Personal chef for Scott. Must be able to cook "Taters" in large quantities and produce Pies on request.
-Book's for Jarrod: "1001 excuses for not finishing a bike race" OR: "How not to cramp at the mere thought of exercise."

NEWS:
With Race 3 of the Chase the Sun Series coming up in little under a month extra training will become paramount. The DirtRiders Winter Series will have race 2 on in June.
http://www.dirtridersmtb.com/calendar.html
Perhaps, the Closer Racing Team could race in pairs with Ring In #2 making 2 teams.