Wookie goes to the head of the class

Scotty has put on a dominant display at the Wednesday night dirt crits to finish 1st in B Grade yesterday. "I was focused. That friggin blog thing last week really pissed me off!" Earlier, Scotty seemed to be struggling again, with defeat to a bunch of overweight middle aged men and a school boy looking likely. "I had a tough fight but I maintained my pace well and the competition couldn't match me. The guy with a wooden leg really pushed me hard. I'm pretty happy." The middle laps of the race saw Scotty duking it out with his 5ft 5" pre pubescent Nemesis but a sustained burst over 2 laps broke the school boys spirit. "Man I enjoyed beating that kid. It's such a relief....." Scotty's form line should serve him well in the upcoming XC Vic Series which starts Sunday 9th December at Mt Macedon with his climbing skills set to aid his pursuit of podium glory. "I haven't being on a podium since G-Spot days...."
Results of Scotty's inspirational win can be seen HERE

Poll Results:
The results of last weeks poll are in.....
It seems some readers of the Closer Racing Blog love nothing more than a stunning blond who is aptly known as Miss Universe, Jen Hawkins. She won the vote with 50% of votes going her way.
BUT, even heterosexual women would prefer:
Megan Gale 16%

OR....
Alf's Facebook Friend, didn't even get a single vote....

But instead they were both beaten in the poll by this man with 33% of the vote.
Here he is, your 2nd place getter......

Sad.....

Closer Racing Blog would like to thank Alfy for providing all photos for today's post.
The Closer Racing Blog is sponsored by the letter "P" and the number "7". The word of the day is "tardy".

A quick reminder

It has come to the Closer Racing Blog's attention that some of you haven't seen Petey in Lycra and hence are unable to make up your mind in the poll. Well here is a recent picture of the Adonis that is Petey. Notice the rippling muscles, tanned skin and intense gaze ladies, he is quite a catch. Except that he is already caught. Doesn't mean you can't vote for him though.

Racing Update:

Scott's race at the criterium's last Wednesday wasn't a complete work of fiction, the link to the Criterium's and race results is HERE. Mountain Bike Riders of all levels are welcome to come along and have a go, except for you Alfy. No gimps allowed.

Up the "crits" without a.....

Scotty made a pleasing comeback to the Knobbysports Wednesday night Crits this week. Pleasing for Scotty as it seems he hasn't lost ground to his main rivals from season 2006/2007 and pleasing for Jarrod as Scotty got smashed by a wee little newly turned 16 year old. "The only way it could have been better was if Scotty got beaten by a girl." A jovial Jarrod explained after the race. For Scotty though it was a solid 1st up effort, riding against rider's who had started their short course season 2 weeks prior. "I'm pretty sure that kid rides a lot more than he lets on." Lamented a slightly dejected Scotty, "I mean come on, I can't lose to a kid.... thats worse than losing to Petey." Scott's last point about Petey may have been on the mark as observers noted that the big fella lacked his usual rhythm and drive in the absense of Richy, Petey, Chris and Jarrod. "I love beating my mates. Have I told you that I had a faster lap time than Richy at the Mont? He was soooo mad. I tried not to laugh at him."

Up next week is a team criterium race. Now you would think that given that the Closer Racing Team is a team it would be no problem getting another rider for Scotty to pair up with. BUT, the Closer Racing Team is no ordinary collection of useless unreliable bastards. Jarrod is still a gimp, Richy still lives far far away, Petey is always in Sydney with Jess and Chris is well.... running. It will be up to Scotty to remember to arange a partner which means only one thing; Scotty will be racing solo next week.

Training update:

A recent team bonding session at the races was a useful tool to remind everybody why the Closer Racing Team struggles to attract other team members. They are annoying. Very annoying. Alfy did raise one point of conjecture, who is better, Meagan Gale or Jennifer Hawkins. You decide: ( thats for you Alfy... )

Anyhoo, the famous Closer Jersey is in need of a touch up and update. We have new members and prospective members to cater for. So with that in mind the Closer Racing Blog is starting a design competition. There will be a prize, some of you may or may not like it, you could ask Richy how he felt after the Mont for an idea on how it felt to receive it.

This is the current design:

The current clubhouse leader at this stage is the entry sent in by Petey and can be seen below: Nice work Petey. Crayons are fun!

EXCLUSIVE! Jarrod's crash caught on tape.

Closer Racing Blog has discovered this footage. It's believed to be Jarrod's recent crash or a copycat crash by Petey at the Mont.

Knock me down and call me MONTy

The Closer Racing team shocked the field at the recent Mont 24 Team Enduro by pulling out of the contest with only 4 hours to go. After starting with a flurry and holding a position in the top 20 of a massive field, the team succumbed to a strange homoerotic combination of imitation and anal damage.
The imitation came in the form of Petey, in a vain attempt to live up to the feats of one of his idles, throwing himself over his handlebars, burying himself in the dirt. "I miss having Jarrod here. I thought if I crashed in the race it may instill some of his spirit into the team." When informed of this, Jarrod, in traction in the ICU said, "I'm touched. I heard he even tried to blame it on a mechanical issue. What a guy..."
The 2nd issue was one of horrific damage to the rear end of one of the team. (Ed's notes: we ain't talking about the rear of a bike either) The actual cause of this damage is unknown but the situation as it stands is that 5 males were in close confines, dressed in Lycra and single. (Ed's notes: well some of them are single) Mix in alcohol consumption, extreme fatigue and shear boredom and well.... you do the maths. To protect the innocent the name of the victim has been withheld. His code name for the investigation is Gerby, in honour of a former pet of Alfys who died in similar circumstances.
The other team members, Scotty and Ring-In 2 (Chris) had a relatively trouble free event. Chris was seen changing into his running gear in between laps "to get some exercise in" and challenging Alfy to some rounds of boxing. Unfortunately for Chris it was not to be, as the only rounds that Alfy was interested in were the rounds of cheese he was gorging on during the race. Alfy entertained himself by drinking, eating, telling stories and taking photos. "It was quite relaxing to be here actually. All i needed was a drinking buddy and a casino. They don't have a casino in Canberra. Only porn and fireworks. The dude at the shop took one look at me and wouldn't give me the fireworks. With my proven ability to drive a car, keep food on my plate and never miss my mouth with food, I thought I would be a shoe in."
Scotty meanwhile kept on trucking as he usually does. The combination of copious amounts of food and legs the size of tree trunks proved to be just the recipe for the big fella. Although it wasn't all 'beer and skittles' for Scotty, when asked whether he wanted to finish the last 4 hours in a pair he responded, "Get F#####!"
The team should be congratulated for this performance. They did it without Jarrod dragging the average lap times down and of more significance they managed to tune out Alfy's contagious laziness.
For Race Results click here:
http://www.mont24.com.au/DOWNLOADS/5399.pdf

Training update:
Recently Petey has been making serious strides in his riding. This may have a lot to do with his newly found training partner, M2. Whilst still spending most week days in Sin City he spends every waking hour on weekends in Melbourne with M2. The proof is in his riding, he has improved his climbing and strength immeasurably. Word on the street is that M2 is training his brains out. Keep up the good work M2.

Injury update:
As most of you would have heard, Jarrod decided that life was starting to go too well for him and had a massive crash. The end result was one completely smashed helmet, 3 breaks in the Scapula, a snapped Clavicle and a cut up bloody custom Closer Racing Jersey. Well after 4 weeks of recovery and reclining the results have been average........ The prognosis was originally a 10-12 week injury but it seems it will be closer to 20 weeks..... one of the xrays from Monday this week can be seen below.

20 seconds with...
Jarrod

Hey Jarrod. How are you going?
I'm OK. Thanks for taking over the Blog Scotty.
Yeah, thats OK. Are you sure youre Ok becasue that email your brother sent made me think....
Dude I'm fine.
Alright. Well when will you be back riding?
Hmmm, the doctor says 20 weeks but im optimistic. Im aiming for 16 weeks.
Im giving you a 61% chance of being correct.
What? Oh, yeah. Actually Scotty can you hang on a sec?
Sure buddy.
Puts phone down...
MUM! Where is my lunch? I'm freaking starving here. Jeez!
Picks up the phone...
I'm back Scotty.
Tell us how it happened Jarrod.
I dont know. I asked for a toasted sandwich about half an hour ago..
No no no no... I mean the crash. How did you do it?
Oh. That old chestnut. Well, i was riding along and.... and.. and.... oh for crying out loud the shitty recliner has broken down. I'm stuck! DAD! HELP ME GET OUT OF THE CHAIR!
Maybe I can call you back Jarrod when its more convenient for...
DAD! FUCK! YOUR SICK AND SORRY SON IS STUCK! HURRY UP!..... I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE DOING! MUM, THE FREAKING SANDWICH!
The interview continued later that day.
Hey mate, feeling better?
Yeah thanks Scotty. I'm out of the chair. Its fixed now.
Ok so tell me about the crash.
Sure, well I was riding fast when these 20 ft tall kangaroos attacked me and forced me to crash.
That doesn't sound right Jarrod...
Did i say Kangaroos? I meant I had a mechanical problem that caused me to crash and...
Right...
Hang on Scotty Ive got to sit down. I'm feeling a bit light headed.
OK mate...
For crying out loud Grandma. Get out of the chair!... It was bought for you? I don't care. Get up!... Hurry up.... Yeah whatever... tell it to me walking oldy.
Ok.... shall we..
Oh crap Scott. My sandwich has been here for ages now. And they didn't even cut the crusts off for me....